Taking the Time

I was reminded today of the importance of being aware. God will use you in the middle of the most routine things. He's not limited and he will interrupt your agenda to promote his. Don't be so caught up in your issues that you miss the opportunities to minister to others around you. That's your calling and your purpose. Don't neglect the duty you have as a Christ follower.

Today as I walked out of the examination room at my Ob/Gyn's office I crossed paths with a lady in tears. She appeared pregnant and in distress. I don't know her situation but my heart hurt for her. She was being wheeled away by a nurse and before I could talk to her she was gone. I checked out and walked out of the office and as I waited for the elevator who should cross my path yet again? That woman again. We shared the elevator and as the door closed I turned to her and prayed with her. I told her God was with her. She held my hand so tightly and I sensed God there. I walked away in tears. I remember countless times I left my doctor's office frustrated and in tears for my own struggles and only He was there for me. I know it was no accident that I left my doctor appointment at that precise moment. That was orchestrated by God.

Again I tell you, don't be so wrapped up in yourself that you miss out on blessing others. That's the redemptive power of Chris in you, to be used by and for Him!

Perfect Change

Ephesians 5:1-2 The Living Bible (TLB) Follow God’s example in everything you do just as a much loved child imitates his father. ² Be full of love for others, following the example of Christ who loved you and gave himself to God as a sacrifice to take away your sins. And God was pleased, for Christ’s love for you was like sweet perfume to him.

As I ponder on this scripture I can’t help but smile at the point illustrated above - “as a much loved child imitates his father”. I smile because I know exactly what he is talking about. I have seen it in my children as they strive to serve others and I am glad they are following a positive example I have set as opposed to one of my many flaws. And as I smile I have to evaluate my life further and ask myself if I have been following God’s examples enough. I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, but I do want to be a better person today than I was yesterday. While I am a firm believer in setting goals and resolutions – I don’t think being a better Christian should be a goal but rather a desire to serve others not out of a sense of moral obligation but rather the insistent need that God places in our hearts when we draw near to Him. I believe that His presence is a catalyst for me to change my interactions with others in a way that every contact I have with others will cause them to feel God’s love. Is this ambitious? Yes, it is but not impossible. Like I said, I am not perfect and I won’t deceive myself or anyone else into thinking they have to be either. But I do think that change is more real and effective when we strive for small, frequent changes rather than these large and seemingly impossible ones. I am just one person, but again I can’t help but smile when I think what greatness could be realized for God’s glory if we all strived to be just a little bit more like Christ rather than giving into our shortcomings. Imagine that!

 

Christmas Reflection

Thank you for taking the time to check out this blog. This year I have been invited to be a part of the Holiday Blog Tour spearheaded by my long time friend, Icess Fernandez. Please follow along and enjoy the next stop with Icess Fernandez Happy Reading!

Christmas is always a perfect time for reflecting. As I examine this year I am overwhelmed with joy. I can honestly say that I am able to focus on my family and blessings in a way that in the past caused me pain. In my youth, Christmas was often a stark reminder of the many things I did not have; not in the materialistic sense, but rather in the emotional deficits that I experienced. My parents divorced when I was a teen and Christmases after their separation were painful as we were reminded of my father’s absence in our home or being shuttled between families or in some years missing out on them all together.
Then again in my own failed marriage as an adult I had to face the sad inventory of my life all over again during a time that should have been joyful. As a mother I felt responsible for any lack my daughter experienced knowing that in some way I had caused her to not have her father in her life as much as she deserved him to be.

I realize that perhaps I may have been a bit harsh on myself over the years and maybe as I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser) I have found a better way to cope with the losses and appreciate the blessings. In the last 4 years my life has dramatically changed. I went from being a single mom trying to finish college to a second chance at love and finishing graduate school. This Christmas I can see what my sacrifices have paid off and where my faith has been rewarded. I am not the sad person who couldn’t stand Christmas Carols anymore, neither am I broken and bitter with disappointment. I can see hope in the darkness and believe that God can do anything when we surrender to his will. This Christmas I wish to share that hope with you. After all, Christmas is not about the tree, stockings and gifts but rather about remembering the gift of God’s presence with us on earth and the hope that his birth brought to this world.

Semi-Annual Self Analysis

If you would have shown me a snap shot of my life now, last year... I would have laughed and accused you of being on crack. In T-13 days, I will have been on this earth for 3 decades. I now have the self imposed task of wondering if my life in those 30 years has been worth living. Have I met up to the standard that my creator set for me when I was in my mother's womb? Have I been a delight to my mother, have I given her enough reason to rejoice and be proud of me? Have I met the expectations that my father had for me? Have I been there for my sisters and brother, can they say good things about me without lying or embellishing? Have I been a good mother, does my daughter know without a doubt how much I love her? Have I been a good wife; is my husband proud to be by side? Am I a good cook now? Have I been a good friend to those who surround and love me? Have I been a good employee; a trusted assistant, a worthy steward of my talent? Have I been kind to strangers and shown the world the love of God? Have I been kind to myself?
There is a lot to evaluate here, this may take all 13 days. I better get busy.

Are You Half Grown & Half Awake?

While studying for my finals I came across the phrase of 'half grown and half awake'... I won't bore you with the details. I just could not resist to draw the parallels between this theory and what the Holy Spirit was speaking in my heart.

In this theory are eight assumptions. I noted the first as such: “Our usual state of mind is significantly underdeveloped, uncontrolled and dysfunctional”; with my Jesus-lenses it looked like this: Our usual state of spiritual health is significantly underdeveloped (due to lack of church attendance & bible reading), uncontrolled (sinning), and dysfunctional (suffering & conviction due to lifestyle not being in congruence with your beliefs).

When I got deeper in the theory I got the half grown bit and I thought about how some of us Christians are, for lack of better words, half baked. :) If they are sufficiently blessed or blessed “just enough”, then they never strive for more. They tithe the minimum, volunteer only when the “need” is expressed and never stretch their faith. They live on the bare minimum, never trying or even being aware of the next level which God desires all of us to be at.

God is always calling us to do more, to “step up” to that next level with him, not just so that we can reap the benefits and blessings, but so that we can be a blessing to others. In case you didn’t know, God is a show off, he loves to prove himself and demonstrate his awesomeness. However, if we as Christians don’t step up and prepare the stage for Him to show up, then how can He be glorified? I know I don't want to be half awake, half blessed, half living, half portion... I want all that God has in store for me, and I in turn want to be all He imagined and created me for. What about you?

I am alive

I know this because I awoke in so much pain today. But I still thank God for waking me up. It was a gorgeous morning, bright and chilly. It was the kind of cold that if you stay in the shadows can bring you down but if you stand with God in the brightness of his love it can warm you even when the world is so cold. The pain causes me to wince and maybe shed a tear or two, but I recall that God collects my tears and that I don't cry in vain. I recall a song I heard this morning detailing how even when we are broken we are still in His hands. I lean on that promise and not on this pain. I depend on His love and I draw from His well for relief.

Death really makes you think

With the recent death of my grandfather, I realized many things; one being how little I knew of him. I knew the facts like date of birth, name, height, health disorders... but I never knew his favorite food, music, thoughts... absolutely nothing. He was a man of few words but his eyes hinted at deep thoughts. I should have asked him what he thought when he would stare while sitting in his porch swing, but I didn't. His gait was unmistakable with the jingle of keys he always had at his waist. I never knew what he looked like without a hat until he was in the coffin. I never knew what he thought of me aside from his short remark of "how sweet" I was. I never knew if he knew of the trouble I had caused or that I stole mangos from his backyard. He never gave away if he know about my brother sneaking behind the house to smoke. He was so passive, I never saw him mad or upset. He never raised his voice, not ever, but then again that might have been because my grandmother spoke for the both of them. I am now left with many unanswered questions and I grieve that loss. I rejoice that he is reunited with my grandmother, I am not sure if he is happy about that or not, but all the same he is freed from his sickly body and is eternally at peace (I hope). Grandpa, I am sorry for not spending as much time as I should have with you. Please know that I loved you in my own reserved way and forgive me if I don't please you. I pray that you rest in peace. Don't let Grandma give you too much hell.