Sunday, January 20, 2008

New Year, Same Challenges

So the new year has arrived and with it came the resolutions that we never keep. But as I try to keep 2008 as the year I really change my life, the harder I find it to stay positive. Sure, finances are in order, work is good and school has just begun therefore nothing is due yet. I know the real test will come in March when deadlines are upon me. Will I still be willing to wake up at 5 am to exercise? In May when school is out and I am planning my girl’s birthday bash, will I still find it in by budget to be diligent with my tithing? In all the bustle of the summer with Sid’s wedding, will I still find the time for me and my vacation? Then before you know it, it’s a new academic year, there will be uniforms to buy, supplies to buy, books to order… will I even remember to take myself out for my birthday? Then come the blasted holidays and all the “joy” they bring… will I remember to pray about the real joy? How am I to keep my perspective in order with all the distractions of life? Out of all the spiritual issues I face, this one is the most challenging of all. I have faith, I love God, I believe in the good in all people and I pray for others. What I struggle with is praying for myself. I seem to think that I have it made and therefore not worthy of more blessing. I hate to ask God for the petty things I want when I see the world needs more of his help than me. I know God knows no bounds, but I find it hard to accept that he would look to me to bless when I feel so blessed already. Is there really more that I could or should have? Am I really entitled to more than this? Why do I not feel good enough for more?

No comments: