Christmas is always a perfect time for reflecting. As I
examine this year I am overwhelmed with joy. I can honestly say that I am able
to focus on my family and blessings in a way that in the past caused me pain.
In my youth, Christmas was often a stark reminder of the many things I did not
have; not in the materialistic sense, but rather in the emotional deficits that
I experienced. My parents divorced when I was a teen and Christmases after
their separation were painful as we were reminded of my father’s absence in our
home or being shuttled between families or in some years missing out on them
all together.
Then again in my own failed marriage as an adult I had to face the sad inventory of my life all over again during a time that should have been joyful. As a mother I felt responsible for any lack my daughter experienced knowing that in some way I had caused her to not have her father in her life as much as she deserved him to be.
I realize that perhaps I may have been a bit harsh on myself over the years and maybe as I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser) I have found a better way to cope with the losses and appreciate the blessings. In the last 4 years my life has dramatically changed. I went from being a single mom trying to finish college to a second chance at love and finishing graduate school. This Christmas I can see what my sacrifices have paid off and where my faith has been rewarded. I am not the sad person who couldn’t stand Christmas Carols anymore, neither am I broken and bitter with disappointment. I can see hope in the darkness and believe that God can do anything when we surrender to his will. This Christmas I wish to share that hope with you. After all, Christmas is not about the tree, stockings and gifts but rather about remembering the gift of God’s presence with us on earth and the hope that his birth brought to this world.
Then again in my own failed marriage as an adult I had to face the sad inventory of my life all over again during a time that should have been joyful. As a mother I felt responsible for any lack my daughter experienced knowing that in some way I had caused her to not have her father in her life as much as she deserved him to be.
I realize that perhaps I may have been a bit harsh on myself over the years and maybe as I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser) I have found a better way to cope with the losses and appreciate the blessings. In the last 4 years my life has dramatically changed. I went from being a single mom trying to finish college to a second chance at love and finishing graduate school. This Christmas I can see what my sacrifices have paid off and where my faith has been rewarded. I am not the sad person who couldn’t stand Christmas Carols anymore, neither am I broken and bitter with disappointment. I can see hope in the darkness and believe that God can do anything when we surrender to his will. This Christmas I wish to share that hope with you. After all, Christmas is not about the tree, stockings and gifts but rather about remembering the gift of God’s presence with us on earth and the hope that his birth brought to this world.
